Tuesday, August 11, 2009

[rêve]

I've got less than two weeks left in America and it seems like every day has already been laid out before me, planned out to the minute.

Since I left Switzerland, it's like I've had this ever-so-almost-constant pain, a longing to go pack... did I say pack? I meant back. Longing to go back. When I think about that place, I feel sick and a tightness in the pit of my stomach. I really do want to go back.

For me to imagine going back there - wow - t's this unbelievable feeling. I can hardly believe that it is coming true. I can't believe I will soon be living in Switzerland again.

See, when I left Switzerland and came back to the United States, it was as if my Swiss adventure had never happened. Since no one here in America, in my daily life, had experienced it with me, I didn't have a confirmation of its existence in my daily life. Therefore, Switzerland became something of a dream to me.

Here's are a few select update on various topics:

Packing

Packing and cleaning my room is an ongoing, daily task that I have to deal with. I am constantly trying to purge my life of all of these belongings I have acquired over the past 18 years. It feels good to throw it all away, or at least donate it.
Last time when I left, I knew I was coming back here for another year. Now, I don't know when I'm coming back and I don't know if I'll be living at home when I do. I do know I don't want all of my belongings to follow me for the rest of my life. It is a satisfying feeling to know my meterial life can fit in two suitcases.

I am glad that this time, as I go overseas, I know more what I need to pack. I know what they have there that I like, such as office supplies and body wash, and I know what I want to take with me, such as Reese's and shoes.

I am still figuring out what I need to purchase before I go and this list is a bit too extensive for my comfort including items such as a suitcase (how I wish it could be orange), a backpack for my laptop, additional adapters and converters, photo album gifts for my past host families, and a Webster's New World French Dictionary. My hope, not something I am counting on or really even imagining possible, is another lens for my digital SLR, but I don't see that happening.

Driving

I want to be able to drive for my host family, but currently I am wondering how safe it would be for me, a new driver, to do it. I also don't know that I can get my licence in the next 12 days with so much going on.

French

I am so excited to learn French, it's such a beautiful language. My basic knowledge of Spanish, German, and an insignificant amount of Italian, is quite useful in learning French. I study it daily and write down key words and phrases in a yellow notebook. The thing that is a true struggle for me is the pronunciation. Luckily I know a few people fluent, and there's a great free online program through my library system. This new program is, in my opinion, superior to Rosetta Stone on many levels and is just what I need.
Not Going To College
Of course I have those feelings as I talk to my friends who are going to college. I can imagine what my life would be like if I had chosen to attend schools such as Ripon College or Trinity Western. I would be preparing for dorm life, stoked to live with others my age going through the same thing. I think about all the progress they will be making in that year, how they will meet so many people and experience so many things, but then I have to remember that what I'm doing is what's right for me. I need a year off to make some money, travel, think, and live. I think I will be more mentally prepared and mature for college in a year.

Saying Good Bye

The reality is I won't be able to say good bye to everyone I want to. That's ok with me, too, I guess. I really am not a fan of saying it and I know I'll be back in one to two years.

So, I guess progress has been made. Life is just turning into one giant countdown, it's like New Years Eve stretched out over the course of two weeks.

If you are interested in saying good bye, be at my house at 7:00 to 10:00 on the 20th of August. You can email me for directions. I would love it if you could just stop by and say "hi" or something.

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